Navigating the expectations, emotions, and not-so-magical moments of the holiday season.
The holidays are supposed to be magical…right?
There is SO MUCH pressure to make the holidays feel like they are as magical as possible. Social media starts advertising the minute the calendar hits September 1st and suddenly we are surround by DIY projects, gift guides, family gatherings, colder weather, darker months, holiday lights, music, and everything in-between.
There’s this expectation that we should have a perfectly decorated house, magically get along with all of our family, prepare extravagant meals, family traditions, and the list (literally) goes on.
But for some of us, the holidays are less like a Hallmark movie and more like a full-time job.
The invisible to do list:
As a mother, the holidays have become more of a stressor. Not only am I attempting to make a magical holiday season for my son, but I’m constantly bombarded with “sent me a list of ideas on what to get him!” and “how many houses can you cram into one day from 5am to midnight”
All while navigating teaching my son to slow down, enjoy the peacefulness of the season and drawing boundaries on how much go, go, go we want to engage in.
Maybe you can relate to that even without a child! There’s the expectation of:
Remember everyones gifts, schedules, and preferences
Coordinating family gatherings
Managing child expectations and routine (I’m looking at every parent dreading the interference of nap time)
Trying to make everything special while keeping up with everyday responsibilities
Having to budget an astronomic amount of money for various gift giving dynamics in order to meet the family gathering “expectations”
These are all things we hear from our clients at Atlas and attempt to navigate during the holidays because “it’s the season of giving” and apparently boundary violations too.
When family isn’t exactly…festive.
Some of you may be dealing with incredibly complicated family dynamics, experiencing waves of grief due to the loss of a loved one, feeling the obligation of attending every single family gathering - even when you’d really rather not, or maybe even feeling as though you revert back to an old version of yourself around family.
This is the part we don’t talk about because there is this notion that the holidays can only be cheerful and we should set aside the difficult parts. Family can be complicated, you’ve changed and drawn boundaries with those who have hurt you, and someone important is missing from the dinner table re-opening a wound you’ve been trying to heal.
So let’s talk about it!
You’re allowed to do the holidays differently.
This might look like:
Saying no to invitations
Simplifying traditions
Setting realistic expectations
Deciding ahead of time what boundaries you need
Making room for rest instead of filling every available moment
You don’t have to re-create someone else’s version of a “perfect holiday season” to have the holiday season you actually enjoy.
My reminder to you:
The holidays don’t have to be perfect to be meaningful. You don’t have to do everything, attend all the gatherings, buy everything, or make everyone happy.
Maybe this year’s goal isn’t to create the most magical holiday season ever. Maybe it’s to listen to your own needs, make room for what matters to you, and create something meaningful without constantly putting yourself last.
You deserve to enjoy the holiday season, too.